Sunday, March 20, 2011


When it comes to relationships, we're not our parents, grandparents or great-grandparents. Over the last century, things have changed during every decade.

Women aren't raised to be "sold" to the guy that offers 2 cows and 5 chickens to the family. Women don't marry their older sister's husband because she died during childbirth. Women no longer get married *just* because they get pregnant. The threat of being sent away because of a pregnancy and disgrace brought upon the family is extremely rare. Pre-arranged marriages are practically extinct. Divorce is no longer seen as a woman's failure to keep her husband happy. (Note: While these things do still occur in some countries, I'm not referring to them)

No, things have changed.

We are educated (even if you don't graduate high school, you have more schooling than women did 100 years ago). If you've gone to college, you have more education than most women were 50 years ago.

We have choices now.

We don't have to stay in an abusive relationship.
We don't have to stay in a relationship with a cheater.
We don't have to stay at home and "serve" our husbands. (Note: I am not saying that homemakers that stay home to raise their children are serving their husbands. I'm saying you don't wake up and cook your husband's breakfast and make his lunch and wash/iron his clothing, wait for him to come home and make him a martini and get his newspaper and slippers and make the children be quiet so as to not bother "daddy" while you cook his dinner)

Beginning with Generation "X," we've been raised to be self-sufficient. To get an education. To get a career. To find our "true love." To get married. To raise our children. Oh, and if any of these things aren't working out for you, then make the necessary changes so YOU are happy.

You don't want to go to college? Don't.
You don't want a career but would rather stay home and raise kids? Fine.
You want a divorce? Get it.

Just because you were truly in love with someone once upon a time doesn't mean you won't find true love again. There are many, many people around the world. It's not like it was 100 years ago when your love search was limited to a 25 mile radius. The world is at your fingertips and you are no longer limited.

Find somebody that has the same interests as you. A person that has the same goals as you in life. Oh, and stop looking. Because when you are looking for love, you hurt every second that you're not finding it. Instead, find something to do that makes you happy. Then, look for a group of people that have that same interest, and you might, without looking, find that person.

Please, don't tell me that you're now sitting there thinking there is nothing you can do or have an interest in that cannot involve others. Just about every hobby in the world has groups online. Google it!

Tip 1:
You'll never be happy unless you're happy with yourself.

Tip 2:
The longest relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.

1 comment:

  1. The tips are right on. You've got to love and care for yourself first. Otherwise, no one else will.